Let's have a little fun today. Today's "Keeping Up" Tip comes from the book, "Why Men Love Bitches," by Sherry Argov.
The best advice she gives in her book is when she talks about how it isn't as much how you treat him as how you treat yourself. The "bitch's" behavior lets him know without any words that she will not pull the plug on her life to accommodate him.
She very clearly points out, that men will treat you how you treat yourself. Women sometimes try so hard to please the guy, that they lose themselves. It is never attractive to a guy when he recognizes that he can get you do do anything that he wants, and you are willing to compromise everything for him.
Take the pop quiz below that she gives her readers: Are You Too Nice?
1. Do you feel guilty when you say no, or do you say no and then second-guess yourself?
yes or no
2. Do you often try to tell your partner that you want to be treated with respect?
yes or no
3. Do you find yourself bartering or negotiating for what you want or need?
yes or no
4. Do you often pass up sleep or the need for personal time to meet his needs?
yes or no
5. Do you regularly see him on short notice or when it is convenient for him?
yes or no
6. Do you find that you repeat what you've asked for as though he didn't hear it the first time?
yes or no
7. After a fight, are you always the first one to contact him or apologize?
yes or no
8. Do you find you are much more doting and affectionate than he is?
yes or no
9. Do you often feel depleted after he has been with you?
yes or no
10. Do you constantly want more attention or reassurance?
yes or no
Argov says, "if you've answered yes to five or more of these ten questions, you are giving far more than you are receiving".
Stop telling men how they should treat you, show them! If this plan fails, you aren't doing it right...trust me.
Posts
5 comments:
must be a bitch then b/c my answer was "hell no" to most of those..
& he loves it! maybe she is on to something! i love this! ;-)
Girl I answered the same way! But I am confident that my answers were a little bit different a few years ago. I am glad I have become a "bitch" lol. It works!
I'm not a Bible thumper but after being married for a year I can tell you that is FALSE!
Proverbs 21:9
-Better to live on the corner of a roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. (NIV)
First and foremost a woman must pay attention to the man's intent. Is he making an attempt at manipulating your self-image or body? Or is he trying to be a man?
If he's trying to manipulate you in some way, yeah letting him take advantage is not just bad for his interest in you, its bad for YOU! Not to say that doing favors, exploring new boundaries, or whatever else isn't a good thing. Its important to keep in mind: All things in moderation. And ladies remember, a man can just as easily bore from too little attention as he can from too much.
But if he's trying to be a man, this is where the woman yielding or, surrendering comes into play.
I'll give you a quick example and I'm out:
Before my wife and I even got engaged I was buying her 2nd car (now she's on her 3rd). At the time a friend of her family was selling a 'barely' used car he had just purchased and, for her, was willing to part with at a loss.
I refused to even go look at the car. Why?
It didn't make sense. The car was too new, with too few miles, and too cheap. There had to be more to it, and I wasn't going to put my boo in a death trap. Beyond that the guy's story wasn't lining up and I just wasn't convinced.
So my then girlfriend, throws a fit saying I'm judging the case before I investigate the facts, etc.
But let me tell you why I was right:
I wasn't attempting to manipulate her or the situation. What I was doing was trying to help her pick the car that was what she wanted, not a car that would do a friend of the family a favor. Not to mention I was spending my hard-earned money and felt like I at least had the discretion to cherry-pick the next car.
But her anger at me for refusing to entertain this "friends" car almost tore an irrepairable hole in our relationship. She wasn't letting me be the man for whom she chose me for being.
So ladies, don't use broad strokes to solve your "problems." Ever man, and situation is unique and its important to temper that "bitchyness" with loving respect.
Oh and don't forget, question your source of information!
Is this author married? Divorced? How many times?
I wouldn't exactly take relationship advice from someone whose relationships have historically been non-functional or even non-existent.
@ The guy in room...I can see where you are coming from, but I think what the author is trying to say is just don't be a doormat. Don't let anybody run over you. You can cater to your man, but don't just do and you are not getting anything in return. Not in a material way, but if he is not treating you like a queen and you treating him like a king...there is a problem.
It is not about being a "bitch" in a mean type of way, it is about not being so nice that you lose respect for yourself. So many women cater so much to any and every man....every man doesn't deserve it, period.
My "King" will be treated like a king. And trust I will be treated like a Queen.
Post a Comment