Today I'm asking you if I can really keep it real...
Yesterday we had a conversation about the high divorce rates in our country, and reflected for a second on the clown shows that are put on by celebrities, who look at marriage as merely a chance to up their celeb ratings. Some of the relationships to the rich and famous could be real, they just somehow don't last beyond the 10 year mark. But besides my utter disgust for what marriage has become, and the examples thrust upon us in the media, I am also disappointed with some of the decisions made by the women who marry rich.
If we are going to live in this ugly reality of failed marriages, let's consider the end possibility. Most men cheat, and rich men are at the top of that list. You marry rich, might not have come into the relationship with much, he could cheat, and then you are stuck with the decision of parting with your amazing lifestyle, or sticking with constant cheating behavior. And in the world of prenuptial agreements, you might not leave with half.
I for one don't believe in divorce, but it doesn't mean that my beloved husband won't. That is why I admire women that marry rich that consider their own futures and don't just depend on their husband to be there through think and thin. I admire women like Kimora Lee Simons who decided to open her own clothing line. She became her own brand, and not just some rich guys wife. She also was able to stand alone once the marriage didn't work out. I believe women like Kobe Bryant's wife are stuck having to live by the rules that their husbands play by, because they never take advantage of the situation they are in.
The point of this, is that regardless if you marry rich or not, you need to make sure that you are able to stand alone, if for some reason your marriage doesn't work out. Ideally you should have goals and accomplishments before you enter your marriage, but if you don't, do not just sit in your marriage while someone else is making a name for themselves. If you are fine with simply being the support while your husband makes a name for the family, all I can say is be smart!
Learn to make your marriages and relationships work, but learn to make "you" work also. If you are equally beneficial to the relationship, then you will equally run the relationship. Consider this no matter what type of relationship you are in. Do not be stuck on the end of the stick that depends on the other side to keep them up.
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8 comments:
you absolutely couldn't put those words in better terms. I'm disgusted by today's standard of marriage also.
Vixen: Yes I think I am about 2 be beyond disgust. I think at this point we might as well all just sign contracts saying we are married for this amount of time, we will each leave with this, and yeah I will get the kids. People are going under God, and basically lying 2 him. Smh
Omgosh....I was just talking about this with a friend...Women need to learn to put themselves first and their future....men do it all day, everyday....I hate divorce also and do not believe in it...however, i know im not living in DisneyWorld and I have to be smart for my sake and my future's sake.....I am waiting on Mr.Right so......I don't plan on this Bullish...but who really knows?
@Ash: Disneyworld was a good one. We arent living fairytales...so we must be smart!!!!
Today's standards of marriage disgust me too especially because I am engaged and marriage is thus something that has become very serious to me. A woman should be able to stand alone, but moreso, she should be diligent enough to do her research before jumping the broom. It is SO important that your man has the same values you do. Never settle for half-answers to important questions like "do you believe in divorce?" "what does marriage mean to you?" "is cheating inevitable?" etc etc. My fiance and I are BOTH strongly against divorce, we HATE cheating, and marriage is an awesome thing to both of us that we want to experience with ONLY each other for the rest of our lives. And my fiance is someone who is on a path to being very successful and making lots of money and despite that, he believes what I do. Women need to quit settling for these lame dudes. Being rich but disloyal is not attractive AT ALL.
@Philosopher: That was beautiful! i am so glad that you found someone as amazing as you. People need to understand that they do not have to settle...women need to hear what you just said! Thanks for that message.
I really enjoyed Philosopher's comment it was so beautiful & heartfelt. I wish I had a man like she does. Hold onto your love like En Vogue said!
Also, the state of marriage is in bad shape and it is definitely appalling. My parents have been married for 30 yrs & counting and they've given me a great example of what marriage is supposed to be. They never fought in front of me & my siblings and they were always united as a couple who had children. It was beautiful to grow up watching & is the reason why I don't tolerate BS in relationships.
I got a msg from an old flame who I absolutely loved when we were young. She wanted to have a drink so we did and sparks flew. She's married with two kids and husb makes alot of money,she lives like Paris Hilton basically. Within minutes of being together she asked about "us" as in what might have been. She mentioned that there has been other men , she lamented that her husband doesn't back her up and blames her for little things...i didnt pry. Later on after I dropped her off we texted how nice it was to see each other. She said she wanted me, wanted to kiss, etc. Wanted to see me again so we planned but it didnt work until weeks later and at the last minute and after meeting up she said she couldn't, that it's unhealthy for her fantasizing about me...... We continued texting for 6 months and she would send subtle hints to see me, but I didnt know how to take it. She had said it didnt sit right that we are unavailable. She's unhappy but she's not leaving, I think she's caught him cheating and she has cheated. She said if she told me things she wouldn't be able to stop. I.e. Bad stuff... She was very successful when she married the guy but he made way more so she didnt have to work...herboys are under 5. She once got very mad and jealous after sshe asked about me with girls on the side, I only mentioned that I had talked with my housekeeper, she didnt believe me, it touched a nerve so I think it had more to do with her husband than with me, anyways we patched and have texted kinda at the holidays, even all Xmas day behind backs...she says she's not used to feeling this deep about other men as me, not about a void etc but she has gone cold really and plays like this was nothing serious. How can she stay in that life? That marriage? She said she knows I would treat her right. How can she cope with such lies?
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