As you all may have heard by now, Rapper Slim Thug wrote a recent comment in an article in Vibe stating the following:
“Most single Black women feel like they don’t want to settle for less. Their st
andards are too high right now. They have to understand that successful Black men are kind of extinct.”
“My girl is Black and White. I guess the half White in her is where she still cooks and do all the shit that I say, so we make it. She just takes care of me and I like that. She don’t be begging and I don’t gotta buy her all this crazy ass shit. And she’s a smart girl too.”
“White women treat they man like a king and Black women feel like they ain’t gotta do that shit. Black women need to stand by their man more. Don’t always put the pressure of if I’m fucking with you, you gotta buy me this and that. Black men are the ones that motherfuckers need [but] I think a lot of them need to step it up too.”
After reading it, it didn't make me as mad as I thought I would be. I mean I had read tons of comments from angry women, that I thought that he straight up called us bitches and hoes. But I do understand the black woman's frustration stemming from his comments, but most importantly the comments that many black men make every day.
Black women also make similar comments about black men needing to do better, but there is a huge difference. One being that we rarely leave the black mans side regardless of what he does, but as soon as black men think we are messing up, it's on to the next race.
Anyways, I can go on forever, and maybe one freakin day I will (although I feel like I talk about this subject every moment I get with my girls and male friends). Today it seems I don't need to explain what black women were trying to say in the space allotted on comment sections of tons of blogs that posted his interview. One great Professor from Columbia University summarized everything that would have come out of my brain onto this computer screen. And he writes:
Slim,
A few days ago, you made comments in Vibe magazine that have caused a great deal of controversy. While I appreciate your willingness to offer your opinion in public, you made several statements that were not only unfair and untrue, but deeply damaging to our community. Normally, I would reach out to you privately, but since your comments were made in a very public place, I feel compelled to respond in the same manner.
As an artist who is respected by millions of fans, particularly young ones, I found your comments to be hurtful and irresponsible. For good or for bad, our children follow the lead of you and other artists for everything from fashion and slang to self-esteem, body image and relationships. Imagine how a young black girl feels to hear from you, her role model, that her “standards are too high” and that she should “bow down” and “settle for less.” Consider the pain that our beautiful brown skinned babies feel when Yung Berg says he doesn’t date “dark butts.” Think about the self-esteem of our community when Nelly refers to our mothers, sisters, and daughters as “Tip Drills.”As celebrities, your public comments are not just your own. Instead they influence the choices, beliefs, and lives of an entire generation of young people who look to you for direction.
Of course, you have every right to say things that you think are true. The problem, however, is that there was very little truth in your comments.
In your interview, you talk about how much better white women treat their partners than black women. If what you’re saying is true, why do Whites have the highest divorce rate of any group? Do white men get tired of being treated like kings? In reality, it seems that you are buying into (and selling) a stale but dangerous ideal that constructs White women as ultra-feminine, loving, queens, and Black women as angry, selfish, and untrustworthy hoes.Even more disturbing was your comment that “Black women gotta start being down for their man more.” Since slavery, Black women have had to withstand rape, torture, and humiliation (from both white and black men) in order to sustain their families. Now, in 2010, 1 in 3 Black men between 20 and 29 years old are incarcerated or otherwise under criminal supervision. Every day, Black women are raising children without men in the house, working multiple jobs (for less pay!), and supporting brothers as they finish their prison bids.
With Black male unemployment as high as 50 percent in some cities, sisters are often holding down households without child support or other financial assistance. Black female incarceration rates are skyrocketing, partly because Black women are “riding” for their men, hiding guns and drugs, operating as mules, and refusing to snitch to authorities. In addition, Black women are the group most likely to be victims of domestic violence and the least likely to be married. Still, in spite of all this bad news, Black women are less likely to date outside their race than Black men.
How much more “down” do you want Black women to be?I agree with you that both brothers and sisters have work to do. Over the last year, we’ve seen countless TV shows, movies, and bestselling books telling Black women how broken they are, how ugly they are, why they don’t have a man, and how they need to behave. Instead of adding to this pile of pain and ignorance, I would encourage you to turn the mirror on yourself. How does the image of the pimp/player/baller/dopeboy promoted in your music help to create the “gold diggers” that you badmouth in your interviews? How might your own admitted failures at monogamy undermine the type of loyalty that you find missing in Black women? Criticizing the vulnerable is easy. Working on yourself is the difficult part.The world is watching. What will you do?
Your Brother,
Marc Lamont Hill
http://www.marclamonthill.com/
I could not have said it any better. Marc you left me thinking I was listening to a much needed sermon that should be delivered to black men across the country. All I can say after reading that is, "Can I get a witness?"
We have to understand that as a race for the longest all we had was each other, and oh what a slap in the face that one would decide to leave his own race because he feels less of a King. A true King steps up in his kingdom and brings every one up to where he thinks they should be. It is a coward who instead decides that the task of bringing up my fellow people is too hard, and thus I give up. Instead I will leave my race and write an entire article about how they aren't shit for everyone to read.
We have to do better people...let's bring the black family back!
-The Socialite
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6 comments:
Many of these so called black women who "hold the family down" are not looking for stable partners many of them mess with a different guy every week while collecting welfare/foodstamps& child support money.
Yes its true black men are mostly unemployed and even underemployed but its better to keep your pride and be broke that to sell your soul because you are more concerned with physical things. Im very happy to be broke because im not spending a dime one someone who is more concerned about her blond weave than the simple things in life. I'd rather date an African, Black Canadian, Black British or Black Caribbean woman before in touch an American black women.
@Anonymous: I think the word "many" is used and should not be. I do not think that the majority of black women are the ones that you describe. I think that you are also being a corward when you say that because of the select few whom you describe, you much rather never deal with an american black woman.
Despite the fact that as a race the reason that any of us go after material things or become attached to allowing the system to provide for us is because of what both black men and women were brain washed to believe is the correct behavior. You my friend much rather ignore this and give up.
I am sick and tired of the black man feeling as if the black woman is depending on him too much. When if fact there are more single black moms than black fathers. When in fact it is the black man who constantly puts the black woman down in his music and every day passing. When in fact it is the black man who has become dependent on the black woman.
How dare one say that all black women are not looking for stable partners and much rather be with a different guy every week...when all I can do is look up to the hundreds of beautiful black strong women around me that have indeed raised this community.
You have to blind not to see how great black women have held down the black family and stood by the black mans side. As he runs towards someone else to boast his brusied ego, the black woman continues to give him chance after chance to take is rightful place on his throne.
Again I say, a true King will lift his community up; a coward is one who runs away from it all.
I was so embarrassed as a Black man by Slim Thug's comments... I was about to go on a personal apology crusade to Black women. B/c obviously, I strongly disagree with his extremely disparaging remarks, but Professor Hill handled it perfectly... It's just sad to me that he (Slim Thug) could actually believe that enough to say.
Slim Thugg is writing from a different perspective dealing with hoodrats, do all black men think this way ? NO What he says is just flat out ignorant in my opinion and from one limited perspective. Dr.Hill does a great job of showing how weak Slim Thugg's argument and some men are too lazy look for excuses on why women should take them as they are instead gettin off their ass try to do better for themselves
@CEO and @Savvy glad to see that there are men that don't think all black women arent shit. CEO I also agree when yoy say that is is ashame that one rather be lazy then rise up to the plate...instead they move on to the next race so they don't have to deal with changing themselves. smh (the generation that we are apart of slowly causes a pain in my side everytime I think of all that our Elders fought for and the sad face that we bring upon their faces as they turn over in their graves)
@ Anonymous You sound very ignorant & as a Professional American Black Woman. I would not have anything to do with you ANYWAY!
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