Dating Like A Man...

The burning question: How do women learn to date like men?

A major problem that women face is going into situations with our mind racing at 120 miles per hour? Why do we immediately meet a guy and stat picking out wedding colors? A friend was telling me about the book "Date like a man". She pointed out that men go on dates, just to date. Women go on dates hoping to make the next guy she meets fall for her.

Men go on dates with many women, leaving many options to pick from if they wanted to. However, for women, the first good man that comes along...all we can think about is how are we going to fit into a nice wedding dress? We have to learn to start dating like a man. We must learn to date in the moment and not automatically fast forward to a long-term relationship.

The crazy thing is that men have a six-sense. It is the desperate, she wants a man, she wants me to wife her fast, sense. This is the sense that scares him away immediately. Men don't like to feel pressured, and those vibes of desperation will only send him running.

With dating, our end goal is still going to be marriage, but we must learn the art of dating so that our end goal is successful and yields a good match for us.

So here are a few things that I learned from dating in NYC (Sex and the City brought from the screen to real life) that might help you date more like a man. I watched a few guys, and I picked up a few things from them (mind you after this post will be the first time that I actually put these male dating techniques to practice).

1. They are dating multiple people. Some he might go out with, some he might chill with, some he might chat with over the Internet...whatever the interaction might be, he isn't just concentrating all of his time on one person.

2. When he dates, he dates for fun. Play it cool! He doesn't call up his boys and tell them to start planning his bachelor party.

3. He does not answer all of her phone calls. If he is with his boys, it is "boy" time. If he is working, he presses ignore. Sometimes he might just simply ignore her call. (It also helps that he is dealing with multiple people, so he doesn't always feel the urge to talk to one person)

4. He is not always available to hang out. He doesn't jump every time there is an opportunity to go out with a female.

5. Men don't worry about potential. They have an attraction in some way and go for it.

6. A man knows how to set boundaries. A man will tell you exactly what he will and won't do and will have absolutely no problem if you don't join him.

7. Men don't introduce you, and talk about you to friends and family right away.

8. Men operate on a need-to-know basis. If you don't ask, they won't tell.

9. Men don't give everything upfront. Don't be so fast to show every person what you can do for them in a relationship.

Women, try to follow some of these techniques that men follow. It might do the following for you:

1. Make your dates more enjoyable. You will spend more time enjoying the moment, and not necessarily analyzing everything he is doing to see if he is "the one"

2. You will learn more about what you want and don't want in a mate, because you will be open to going on more dates with a variety of different people.

3. You will seem less desperate if you are not always available for one person. You will scare less guys away!

4. When you finally find love, it will not be rushed!

I am going to put these dating techniques into practice as soon as I am done typing. I will let you know if my dating experience changes any. Also, men let us know below if there are any more "secrets" that you can share with us!

-The Socialite



Priscilla M. said...

Hmmm....very interesting! Something to definitely think about, if not start practicing.

Anthony said...

you forgot #3. FAIL

The Socialite said...

@Priscilla: Yeah it is very interesting how guys look at dates and how we do. I want to try a few of their methods and see if it works for me.

@Anthony Thanks for pointing that out to me. Not sure why it has to be a fail! gesh

Citizen Ojo said...

Socialite, can't wait to see how it works out for you.

The Socialite said...

@Citizen: I can't wait either. I am thinking it might be successful. It works for men!

L. Marie Joseph said...

I think women have been geared that way since early childhood.

The Dollhouse, family, Ken LOL

Women need to chill and take a step back sometimes

Great Post

Brandi said...

Thank @ L.Marie...yeah we need to get the whole Barbie and Ken thing out of our minds!!! lol stop playing Barbie and being so emotional. Time to take control of our dating lives.

Randy Philip said...

Thank you for the reminder, it really helped.
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Don't hurry while dating, just enjoy the time spent.

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