For the past few months I have been constantly approached by men who already have girlfriends. It is as if the concept of being in a committed relationship means very little and is simply something that is being said to either make his partner happy or to hold on to his partner while he messes around with other fish in the sea.
Do women make it easy for men to explore other options while in a relationship by allowing them to interact with us on intimate levels? Are we all so afraid that there are few good men in this world that we don't mind dating men in relationships in hopes that he will leave his woman and leap into a commitment with us?
It is like we have created monsters who attack at any prey that walks by them. He is not afraid to approach women because there is no fear of a woman rejecting him because of his relationship status. Furthermore, he understands how much power he has because of the lack of great men, and is now sitting on his high horse.
I've been guilty of considering having "friendships" with guys in relationships to see if anything could spark out of it, but realized that my consideration was a mere act of weakness. Why disregard the feelings of the other woman and most importantly allow this man to have his cake and eat it too? This guy asked if we could just be friends? I asked him if his girl would be joining us on any dinner or movie outings? Of course that was a no go. I let him know that my comfort level of the situation was at an all time low, and the terms of our friendship lead me to believe that he wants more (ya boy run that game...not buying it)
It has always been said that women hold the power, but we easily release that power when we allow him to dibble and dabble where ever he sees fit. We are not being fair to ourselves or our fellow black woman. The fact that Lil Wayne has everyone reciting "I'm single for the night" or Waka having everyone yell out "Got a Main Bitch and a Mistress" shows where we are in society in terms of the female/male relationship.
Men are going to be men and probably will always consider swimming around in the sea, but as females we don't have to take their bait. Once they have fewer options in the sea, they will do less swimming. (This can be challenging ladies I know...but we have to do something about this. We must maintain self-control)
The Socialite
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4 comments:
Good post! I believe your current interactions with men will change soon. Its a maturity thing. Many of us good men realize we are. But without maturity, it really doesn't mean anything. As you are finding out, unfortunately.
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@CB: I have a few good interactions with men, but year recently it has become annoying experience after another..I feel so bad for the girlfriends of these dudes who could care less about their status of being in a committed relationship. My thing is if you still want to explore your options...don't be in a relationship.
Well, this is what the women women wanted! The alpha male who is a "real man" and really good at approaching (manipulating ?) women,
who has "manned up" and "grown a
pair" ,as opposed to the good (nice?) guys who would treat a woman right. What makes you think
that the wonderful "alpha male"
wants to stop after he has YOU?
Ever think of that?
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