Jabari Inspires: "Build A Bridge & Get Over It!"

Motivational Speaker, Jabari Smith, VLOGS live from the Roberto Clemente Bridge in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania!!! Drawing inspiration from the The Burgh's nickname as "The City of Bridges", Jabari encourages everyone to work toward putting aside any and all petty interpersonal issues or grudges that may be weighing us down, so that we may avoid digging ourselves into holes of frustration and complacency!!!

Here is yet another Howard Alum who is using his passion to inspire the world...one Vlog at a time!

Click here to watch more of Jabari's inspirational videos >>

Also follow him at @jabarinspires

Jabari Presents...

Check out this video of Diggy Simmons on Jabari Presents...

Visit http://iamjabari.com View http://youtube.com/iamjabari Voice http://twitter.com/jabari to see more of Jabari Presents.

These videos will take you into the lives of some pretty dope people. The people in them are not only inspiring, but Jabari's work should serve as encouragement that your dreams are simply predictions of the future.

So proud to say that Jabari is an alum of Howard University. Will the real HU please stand up!

-The Socialite

You Can Kill Them With Looks...but Kindness Will Work As Well...

I got the secret to getting almost anything that you want! You ready....

Kill everyone around you with so much kindness that the Universe has no option but to return the favor back to you. Really...it works!

If you go around being nice (extremely nice) to everyone, then you will see a few things happen:

1. You might make that persons day

2. In return your day will be made in some way

3. Someone might give you something just because you were nice. (example: I let someone into a party last night that was not on my list just because they smiled at me. The assholes were sent away and I evil laughed at them out loud)

4. People will want to look out for you just because you are nice. Let's say there were two people up for a position, the nicer person, or more liked person, will probably get the position.

5. People will enjoy being around you and you will be invited to everything!

6. Try being nice to someone who is an ass to you or has done you wrong...it will kill them more then you getting an attitude with them. Trust me I do it all the time with people that have done me wrong. They can't sleep at night...I know it! (another evil laugh)

WARNING: Being nice does not mean being ran over. The "nice" I am talking about is simple acts of kindness, and being careful about rubbing people the wrong way. Honestly, if you are a nice person, when you make a mistake and have one of those funky days, people forgive you.

Life is a simple game...what you put out is what you get back!

Be nice for a day straight...and watch how different that day turns out. Be nice everyday...and watch all the balls fall in your court.


Next time you are in line for a club, you want something for free, you want your boss to consider you for a position, you want to be invited to an exclusive party...trust me being nice is your ticket in!

-The Socialite

It's just the way the game is played ...

Sartorially Savvy...Your Basic Fashion Tips...

I must say ladies and gents...if you are looking to keep up in the fashion department, you must check out http://sartoriallysavvy.blogspot.com/ . Those of you that have been with me for awhile remember a few post by Sartorially Savvy! He has his own blog now. Here are a few tips that he wrote for the "Keeping Up" Readers:

1. Fit is everything regardless if it's Salvatore Ferragamo or Salvation Army, if it doesn't fit, it doesn't work. Too big looks like you're playing dress up in your parent's closet, and too small looks like you can't afford properly fitting garments.

2. Develop a signature color. If there's a particular hue that works for you, embrace it! Play it up in garments, shoes, and accessories for elements of sophistication and personal style.

3. Your tailor should be your BFF. Having garments altered is a simple, efficient and easy way to ensure that you're following the 1st rule. Also, alterations make garments appear custom made, and consequently, more expensive. Most dry cleaners offer simple alteration services that will likely cover your basic alteration needs. For more complex jobs, consult a department store tailor.

4. Splurge on shoes and accessories. A great pair of Ferragamo loafers, a Marc Jacobs bag, Chanel sunglasses or a Gucci tie will add instant polish, sophistication and an air of expense to any ensemble. Additionally, you can get more mileage from shoes and accessories than you can from 1 particular designer garment.

5. It is always better to be slightly over dressed than it is to be slightly under dressed. When in doubt of the attire of an occasion, play it safe by over dressing. Even in your day to day. It's better to stand out for always looking nice, than the opposite. Plus, people will wonder what fantastic fete you either just came from, or are on your way to when you leave.

-Sartorially Savvy
Also follow him on twitter for constant fashion tips @Sartoriallysvvy

And always -The Socialite

Your Tounge Can Be Very Powerful...

I cannot say this enough; there is power in the spoken word. Every Saturday I stand outside with the little girls that I mentor and watch them as they shout as loud as they can a list of positive affirmations. It makes me shiver sometimes, knowing that it is power in what they are yelling. As they continue to yell things such as, "I am a strong, beautiful, intelligent, black woman", I can't help but smile at the fact that as they continue to say this about a million times throughout the year, that at least half of them will take what they are saying to heart. I watched it happen with my own eyes.

Everyone should be saying positive affirmations daily, which are usually short positive statements targeted at a specific subconscious set of beliefs, to challenge and undermine negative beliefs and to replace them with positive self-nurturing beliefs.

It is sort of like brainwashing yourself. You are washing away your negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones. Using positive affirmation statements forces you to stay focused on your goals and paint a more positive picture of yourself.

It is important that you create your own affirmations. You want them to be specific to your needs and wants. But below are some examples of cool affirmations that you can modify.

• I release any desperation and allow love to find me
• I am my own unique self - special, creative and wonderful (http://www.vitalaffirmations.com/)
  
• I realize that all the good there is, all the Presence there is, all the Power there is, is immediately available and immediately responsive to my acceptance (http://www.scienceofmind.com/site/affirmations/aff01.html)
  
• I can achieve all things, for the power rest inside of me.
• No weapon formed against me shall prosper (The good book)
• I am beautiful just the way God created me
  

As you see you can say just about anything positive about relationships, career goals, personal life, and even your physical appearance.

You can say your affirmations anytime you like. You can even write them down some place that you look everyday, like your mirror.

Everything that we do starts with faith that we can do it. We must get rid of negative thoughts, for those thoughts can be our reality as well.

80% of achieving is mental...

-The Socialite

Before You Write Your "Bucket" List, Don't Forget Your "Basket" List...

Ever become upset during a bad moment in your life? Ever feel like you aren't doing something you always thought you would be doing? Ever just scream" Why me?" When things get bad for a second, how quickly we forget the great experiences we have experienced thus far. Maybe you have simply had a terrible life, but it would be my guess that you simply have not stopped to appreciate each and everything that has been given to you during your lifetime.

The following exercise might help pick you up if you are going through a down moment in your life. This exercise can also be used as a way to show that you are thankful for everything you have been through and have received from your God.

Everyone has heard of a bucket list. You list a bunch of things you hope to accomplish before a certain cut off time (it is suppose to be before you die "kicking the bucket") But have you ever sat down and wrote everything that you have already accomplished? Writing this list down can do the following:

1. Remind you of all of the obstacles you have overcome.
2. Remind you of the amazing experiences you have had.
3. Help you remember to be thankful!

The list can include any of the following:

1. Education level completed
2. Awards
3. Extra-Curricular activities you participated in
4. Different foods you have tried
5. Places you have traveled to
6. Major events you might have attended
7. Exciting dates you might have gone on
8. People you have met
9. Organizations you have joined
10. Major obstacles you overcame
11. Major lessons you learned
12. Jobs you have be given
13. Amazing family members

(and the list goes on)

Take time to remember how far you have come; it might give you the push needed to keep moving forward...


We are going to call this list our "Basket List" (The things we have already thrown in there during our lifetime)

Always stop and be thankful for what you have...when you are, there are no real bad moments in your life.

-the Socialite

One Click Away from Mr. or Miss. Right?

Our lives have been taken over by technology one system or device at a time. The average American spends a great deal of time typing away on their phones, sending emails, surfing the web, tweeting, or posting a picture on Facebook. People are “keeping up” with family and friends without ever having to pick up a telephone, or going to visit a person that may be clear across the world.

If we spend the majority of our time using technology or being on the Internet, has the Internet become a place where we can do just about anything; can we even meet the love of our lives?

Places like Match.com and EHarmony have thousands of members, and commercials that claim that tons of people have found a match through their websites. Do you believe the hype? Do you think that it will soon become ideal for a person to type in their user name on a website, surf through a few profiles “carefully” outlining what each guy likes to eat for breakfast, schedule a few dates, and start over next week? Then after tons of clicks, you finally click on Mr. or Miss Right?

Here is the kicker for me… you write out this beautiful profile describing Jesus and making people think you look like Halle Berry, then they meet you in person and what you wrote was far from the truth. More lies to weave through! I just can’t get with the idea of meeting someone on the web, feeling safe to meet them in person, and then going back online to set up a few more dates. If it works for you, then by all means explore the options that will yield you success in a relationship, and please come back and tell us all about it!

Finding your mate via the web might soon take over the future, and then I will have to “keep up” and make sure my online dating game is tight. People have even come up with tips and tricks on how to create “winning” profiles. I can’t believe this! I have decided to practice for the future by writing what the opening to my profile would look like:

We are not the same; I am a Martian!



Good enough?


What do you think about finding your match through the web?

I'm Focused Man...

If you are like me you woke up one day and realized you knew exactly what you wanted to do in life. Two weeks later you were taking a shower and you discovered that you really enjoyed doing something else. A year later you were walking to work and it dawned on you that you could really get into this other thing. Does this sound like you?

So many of us are born with more than one passion, and various skills and talents. If you are well-rounded and were able to intern, join organizations, and have already had more than one job, then you probably have added to your list of interest. While a lot of people know exactly what they want to do in life, the people described above are a little more confused on which direction to go first. They feel like they could do so much, and want to add them all to the list.


This is a good thing! It means that you have a number of things to add to this world, and I believe that you can tackle them all. Now here comes the problem...

Sometimes we don't know where to start on our long list of career goals, and we try to tackle them all at once, or we continue doing a job we don't like because we are confused on which direction to take. You must fix this! YOU MUST GAIN FOCUS!

Here is what one article said about how not being focused can effect your personal brand:

You might have multiple interests or passions. Think about which is the most important or most developed to focus your brand around. It can be confusing to others for you to be an expert in two or three completely different fields. What about your brand? Can it be expressed in six words or less, be memorable and convey a positive feeling about you?” (5 Steps to Develop Your Personal Brand)


It is important that you create a focus for your career. It is cool to be a jack of all trades, but you will find yourself all over the place. As a result, it will probably take you longer to accomplish your goals.


It dawned on me a few weeks ago that it was really time to take control of my career, and bring all of my passions together. Here are a list of things that I want to do:

1. Become Executive Director of a Non-Profit for Kids.
2. Start my own Non-Profit for Kids using the "Im Keeping Up" Brand
3. Own my own resort
4. Become a Motivational Speaker
5. Write a fiction and motivational book.
6. I secretly want to write an advice column in some major newspaper or website!

For the longest I was confused on where and how to start on this long list. I also had a few other goals on the list that had me really torn. I am now in a better place and have outlined my career goals. (It might change a little, but at least I know where I am starting)

I have decided to go back and get my MBA/MPA (Master of Public Administration).

This will help prepare me for my entrepreneur goals and my non-profit goals. This is my start and here is how you can determine what your focus should be:



1. Write out every career goal you have.


2. For each goal write out all of the steps you need to become the BEST at what you are trying to accomplish. Include degrees you need, books you have to read, networks your have to build, positions you might have to have first, etc...


3. Now it is time to select your focus.


A. First option: Look at which goal is most important, or that you will need to accomplish before going into the other goals.


Ways to determine priority (which goal you should focus on):



1. You need more schooling for a certain goal. (good to get that out the way)


2. You need finance for one of your other goals, and this goal will help you get that.


3. This goal will set a foundation for the rest.


4. This goal will help you build credibility.


5. This goal might take a lot of steps to complete, and it is best you start working on these steps now.


B. Second Option: pick the top goal based off passion. Which goal will make you the most happy if you could only have one goal in life? If you choose to work towards what you love most, you will be successful, and all of your other goals will be possible.


4. Re-write your goals, but in the order of importance based off of the criteria from above. Under each goal re-write out each step it takes to accomplishing this goal (although this post is about focusing on one career goal at a time, you might have a small goal that you can accomplish on the side. Like I am blogging and building that brand while working/preparing for business school. Do not take on more than one focus if both are really time consuming. If you are working on two goals at the same time write 1A 1B when writing out your list).


Follow this new list. You should be focusing on the number 1 goal on your list, and doing the 1st step under that goal.


*Tips/Tricks: try combining your talents and passions into one goal. It might help you turn your passion into a career. Example: I want to work with kids, manage a group of people, and motivate. I came up with Executive Director of a Non-Profit. It combines 3 passions in one and helps me focus a lot more.



Take control of your career today!



-The Socialite

Dating Like A Man...

The burning question: How do women learn to date like men?


A major problem that women face is going into situations with our mind racing at 120 miles per hour? Why do we immediately meet a guy and stat picking out wedding colors? A friend was telling me about the book "Date like a man". She pointed out that men go on dates, just to date. Women go on dates hoping to make the next guy she meets fall for her.


Men go on dates with many women, leaving many options to pick from if they wanted to. However, for women, the first good man that comes along...all we can think about is how are we going to fit into a nice wedding dress? We have to learn to start dating like a man. We must learn to date in the moment and not automatically fast forward to a long-term relationship.


The crazy thing is that men have a six-sense. It is the desperate, she wants a man, she wants me to wife her fast, sense. This is the sense that scares him away immediately. Men don't like to feel pressured, and those vibes of desperation will only send him running.


With dating, our end goal is still going to be marriage, but we must learn the art of dating so that our end goal is successful and yields a good match for us.




So here are a few things that I learned from dating in NYC (Sex and the City brought from the screen to real life) that might help you date more like a man. I watched a few guys, and I picked up a few things from them (mind you after this post will be the first time that I actually put these male dating techniques to practice).


1. They are dating multiple people. Some he might go out with, some he might chill with, some he might chat with over the Internet...whatever the interaction might be, he isn't just concentrating all of his time on one person.


2. When he dates, he dates for fun. Play it cool! He doesn't call up his boys and tell them to start planning his bachelor party.


3. He does not answer all of her phone calls. If he is with his boys, it is "boy" time. If he is working, he presses ignore. Sometimes he might just simply ignore her call. (It also helps that he is dealing with multiple people, so he doesn't always feel the urge to talk to one person)


4. He is not always available to hang out. He doesn't jump every time there is an opportunity to go out with a female.


5. Men don't worry about potential. They have an attraction in some way and go for it.


6. A man knows how to set boundaries. A man will tell you exactly what he will and won't do and will have absolutely no problem if you don't join him.


7. Men don't introduce you, and talk about you to friends and family right away.


8. Men operate on a need-to-know basis. If you don't ask, they won't tell.


9. Men don't give everything upfront. Don't be so fast to show every person what you can do for them in a relationship.


Women, try to follow some of these techniques that men follow. It might do the following for you:


1. Make your dates more enjoyable. You will spend more time enjoying the moment, and not necessarily analyzing everything he is doing to see if he is "the one"


2. You will learn more about what you want and don't want in a mate, because you will be open to going on more dates with a variety of different people.


3. You will seem less desperate if you are not always available for one person. You will scare less guys away!


4. When you finally find love, it will not be rushed!


I am going to put these dating techniques into practice as soon as I am done typing. I will let you know if my dating experience changes any. Also, men let us know below if there are any more "secrets" that you can share with us!


-The Socialite